The Artist In The Ambulance - thrice
Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal,
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel.
My world goes black before I feel an angel lift me up,
And I open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white,
They flip the siren, hit the lights, close the doors and I am gone.
Now I lay here owing my life to a stranger,
And I realize that, empty words are not enough.
I'm left here with the question of just,
What have I to show except, the promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets.
I hope that I will never let you down.
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound.
Look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares.
It gets me down but I'm still gonna try to do what's right,
I know that there's a difference between sleight of hand,
And giving everything you have.
There's a line drawn in the sand, I'm working up the will to cross it.
Rhetoric can't raise the dead.
I'm sick of always talking, when there's no change.
Rhetoric can't raise the dead.
I'm sick of empty words, let's lead and not follow.
Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the,
Greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands.
They've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance.
I hope that I will never let you down.
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound.
Can we pick you off the ground, more than flashing lights and sound.
Saturday, September 13, 2003
Ramblings
from the main road, you could already see clouds of smoke rising from Bishan park, even in the darkness of the night. yes, it was the Lantern Festival yesterday! the few chances where you can actually launch a salvo of rockets without getting arrested, as bishan park was practically swarmed with children and their parents alike, playing with lanterns, sparklers, and homemade rockets. whooohoo! =)
once you were in there, the whole place looked very much like a war zone, with smoke, fire, and whistling sparklers going off in all directions. the whole air was filled with smoke! yeahhh, after we had used up all our sparklers and fired my rockets. 3 flew, 1 almost flew, and 1 burned out.
anyways.
i woke up at one today, from Wan Ting reminding me I was supposed to be in school four hours ago, for the video editing training. went back to sleep for another half hour before actually waking up. i usually wake up before 10, but sleeping at 2 last night might have been it. so there.
from the main road, you could already see clouds of smoke rising from Bishan park, even in the darkness of the night. yes, it was the Lantern Festival yesterday! the few chances where you can actually launch a salvo of rockets without getting arrested, as bishan park was practically swarmed with children and their parents alike, playing with lanterns, sparklers, and homemade rockets. whooohoo! =)
once you were in there, the whole place looked very much like a war zone, with smoke, fire, and whistling sparklers going off in all directions. the whole air was filled with smoke! yeahhh, after we had used up all our sparklers and fired my rockets. 3 flew, 1 almost flew, and 1 burned out.
anyways.
i woke up at one today, from Wan Ting reminding me I was supposed to be in school four hours ago, for the video editing training. went back to sleep for another half hour before actually waking up. i usually wake up before 10, but sleeping at 2 last night might have been it. so there.
Thursday, September 11, 2003
Dohhh.
come to think of it, i actually just realised that this "break" hasnt been much of a rest for me, with the daily wake up call at 7 for my morning routine before rushing to school for the dreaded exams.
hahahaha. yeah, the exams i was supposed to study for. :D
had our video-competition training this morning. yarp. mostly slacking around for me, doing lame stuff with the camera and all. hahaha. Kevin has written a most detailed documentary on it. Go check it out. =)
in other news, another day of band shopping today! this time, for Vern's acoustic guitar. we went to 7, yes, i'll spell it out, SEVEN guitar shops, in the hunt for Vern's new instrument.
yeah, you could call it guy-shopping.
haaahh. =D
come to think of it, i actually just realised that this "break" hasnt been much of a rest for me, with the daily wake up call at 7 for my morning routine before rushing to school for the dreaded exams.
hahahaha. yeah, the exams i was supposed to study for. :D
had our video-competition training this morning. yarp. mostly slacking around for me, doing lame stuff with the camera and all. hahaha. Kevin has written a most detailed documentary on it. Go check it out. =)
in other news, another day of band shopping today! this time, for Vern's acoustic guitar. we went to 7, yes, i'll spell it out, SEVEN guitar shops, in the hunt for Vern's new instrument.
yeah, you could call it guy-shopping.
haaahh. =D
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Down. - somethingcorporate
Let's get drunk,
You can drive us to the harbor.
Wish upon a star but,
Do you know what stars are?
Balls of fire, burning up the black space.
Falling from the landscape,
Exploding in the face of God.
Let's get crazy,
Talk about our big plans.
Places that you're going,
Places that I haven't been.
Build my walls up,
Concrete castle.
Keep this kingdom free of hassle, yeah.
Yeah.
But I need some, echo in the emptiness.
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.
Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone,
Tell me that you're alone, tell me on the telephone.
Feel your heart it breaks within your chest now.
Try to get some rest now, sleeps not coming easy for a while, child.
Child, yeah.
But I need some, echo in the emptiness.
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.
Down, down.
But I need some, echo in the emptiness.
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.
Let's get drunk,
You can drive us to the harbor.
Wish upon a star but,
Do you know what stars are?
Balls of fire, burning up the black space.
Falling from the landscape,
Exploding in the face of God.
Let's get crazy,
Talk about our big plans.
Places that you're going,
Places that I haven't been.
Build my walls up,
Concrete castle.
Keep this kingdom free of hassle, yeah.
Yeah.
But I need some, echo in the emptiness.
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.
Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone,
Tell me that you're alone, tell me on the telephone.
Feel your heart it breaks within your chest now.
Try to get some rest now, sleeps not coming easy for a while, child.
Child, yeah.
But I need some, echo in the emptiness.
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.
Down, down.
But I need some, echo in the emptiness.
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.
Saturday, September 06, 2003
Monday, September 01, 2003
I Miss You. - incubus
To see you when I wake up,
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same,
As I do, is a three-fold utopian dream.
You do something to me,
That I can't explain.
So would I be out of line, if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on,
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I am wasting away.
I know I'll see you again,
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know, that I care.
And I miss you.
To see you when I wake up,
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same,
As I do, is a three-fold utopian dream.
You do something to me,
That I can't explain.
So would I be out of line, if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on,
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I am wasting away.
I know I'll see you again,
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know, that I care.
And I miss you.
Saturday, August 30, 2003
The Concert
the curtain was drawn, with us onstage, the crowd ringing in our ears, and edwin began his pre-performance act with vern before we began the actual song. i remember almost shivering during the second song, silently praying that i wouldnt screw up or i would never forgive myself. and it wasnt until the bridge of the first song that i realised that i was playing a blink song WITHOUT my distortion on, which as i realised, didnt make much of a difference as the amp was cranked up so high it distorted itself. later after our song, edwin also told me he had problems with his distortion switch, but HIS amp was also cranked up so high, that it had the same effect as mine. hahhh.
and so it ends. the practices, the rehearsals, the concert. but the spirit would live on, the hours we had spent together practicing our sets, together and seperately, the number of practices and jams all the bands had, the team-bonding, I know some of you guys out there would be reading this, and I would like to say, it has been a privilege being a part of a concert with you.
Thank you.
the curtain was drawn, with us onstage, the crowd ringing in our ears, and edwin began his pre-performance act with vern before we began the actual song. i remember almost shivering during the second song, silently praying that i wouldnt screw up or i would never forgive myself. and it wasnt until the bridge of the first song that i realised that i was playing a blink song WITHOUT my distortion on, which as i realised, didnt make much of a difference as the amp was cranked up so high it distorted itself. later after our song, edwin also told me he had problems with his distortion switch, but HIS amp was also cranked up so high, that it had the same effect as mine. hahhh.
and so it ends. the practices, the rehearsals, the concert. but the spirit would live on, the hours we had spent together practicing our sets, together and seperately, the number of practices and jams all the bands had, the team-bonding, I know some of you guys out there would be reading this, and I would like to say, it has been a privilege being a part of a concert with you.
Thank you.
Sunday, August 24, 2003
On rainy days.
it started raining soon after we met up, and strode into davis ( a distraction ) to look. yeah. we did get wet, running back to the MRT, but it was quite fun actually. hahaha. reminded me of my primary school days, where we used to run in the rain after school, laughing without a care, without giving a damn about the disapproving stares we got on the bus home. haaah.
yarp! Foo is now the proud owner of a new Ibanez GSR Soundgear Bass, almost fully equipping our band. there was a metal band jamming at Swee Lee's studios while we were there, and they had a really good drummer. the rest of the band sounded okay too. albeit a little too loud, actually. but they really could jam. oh yeah, they werent Singaporean, they were some bunch of Ang Mo's. lol~. got back home after the rain let up a bit.
and i love days like this, of dark overcast skies and winds howling through the windows and rain falling onto your window grills and spilling onto you; nothing beats the solitude of being at home having to listen to no one else's voice.
oh yeah, if you were wondering, the music that is playing is "Clumsy" by our lady peace. enjoy. :)
it started raining soon after we met up, and strode into davis ( a distraction ) to look. yeah. we did get wet, running back to the MRT, but it was quite fun actually. hahaha. reminded me of my primary school days, where we used to run in the rain after school, laughing without a care, without giving a damn about the disapproving stares we got on the bus home. haaah.
yarp! Foo is now the proud owner of a new Ibanez GSR Soundgear Bass, almost fully equipping our band. there was a metal band jamming at Swee Lee's studios while we were there, and they had a really good drummer. the rest of the band sounded okay too. albeit a little too loud, actually. but they really could jam. oh yeah, they werent Singaporean, they were some bunch of Ang Mo's. lol~. got back home after the rain let up a bit.
and i love days like this, of dark overcast skies and winds howling through the windows and rain falling onto your window grills and spilling onto you; nothing beats the solitude of being at home having to listen to no one else's voice.
oh yeah, if you were wondering, the music that is playing is "Clumsy" by our lady peace. enjoy. :)
Saturday, August 23, 2003
fake a smile.
alright! the rehearsal will be on tuesday and thursday next week. we had another band practice today! this time at a different studio, recommended by joshua. =) thanks for the tip! haha. the place was really good. probably because of the good maintenance by the fellow there. he even came in to help us clear up the room after our session. haaah. the drums were a little too loud though. and they didnt sound-damp the room well enough. other than that, everything there was great. *grins*
yaahaaaahh. i kinda feel that i've been neglecting everything else since the deferralofsilence started practicing for the teachers day performance. so to everyone else! sorry if i've pangseh-ed you people after school. hahaha. i'll make it up to you after the exams! =)
will be going band-shopping tomorrow. hahh. for Clarence's bass. yarp! thats about it. goodnight, taaaake care and be good all !
alright! the rehearsal will be on tuesday and thursday next week. we had another band practice today! this time at a different studio, recommended by joshua. =) thanks for the tip! haha. the place was really good. probably because of the good maintenance by the fellow there. he even came in to help us clear up the room after our session. haaah. the drums were a little too loud though. and they didnt sound-damp the room well enough. other than that, everything there was great. *grins*
yaahaaaahh. i kinda feel that i've been neglecting everything else since the deferralofsilence started practicing for the teachers day performance. so to everyone else! sorry if i've pangseh-ed you people after school. hahaha. i'll make it up to you after the exams! =)
will be going band-shopping tomorrow. hahh. for Clarence's bass. yarp! thats about it. goodnight, taaaake care and be good all !
Understatement - New Found Glory
I'm sick of smiling, and so is my jaw
Can't you see my frown is dropped way down.
I'm sick of being someone I'm not,
Please get me out of this slump.
I'm sick of clapping,
When I know I can do it better for myself.
I'm sick of waiting,
I'm sick of all these words that will never matter.
I'll write these words together,
Hoping for a chance to think on time.
And I'm tracing over your letters,
To see if your intentions are as good as mine.
But you're getting worse,
I swear it.
It's hard to prove, you're an understatement.
You're getting worse,
And I know,
That you'll be calling, calling, calling me again
I'm done with everything,
That had the two of you.
Don't worry your pictures are already burned.
I'm dumped with new friends,
Don't sell yourself short,
You'll lose it in the end.
I'll write these words together,
Hoping for a chance to think on time.
And I'm tracing over your letters,
To see if your intentions are as good as mine.
But you're getting worse,
I swear it.
It's hard to prove, you're an understatement.
You're getting worse,
And I know,
That you'll be calling, calling, calling me again
I can't help how I feel
No, I can't help how I feel
But you're
Getting worse,
I swear it.
It's hard to prove you're an understatement.
You're getting worse,
And I know.
That you'll be calling,
Calling, calling me again.
I'm sick of smiling, and so is my jaw
Can't you see my frown is dropped way down.
I'm sick of being someone I'm not,
Please get me out of this slump.
I'm sick of clapping,
When I know I can do it better for myself.
I'm sick of waiting,
I'm sick of all these words that will never matter.
I'll write these words together,
Hoping for a chance to think on time.
And I'm tracing over your letters,
To see if your intentions are as good as mine.
But you're getting worse,
I swear it.
It's hard to prove, you're an understatement.
You're getting worse,
And I know,
That you'll be calling, calling, calling me again
I'm done with everything,
That had the two of you.
Don't worry your pictures are already burned.
I'm dumped with new friends,
Don't sell yourself short,
You'll lose it in the end.
I'll write these words together,
Hoping for a chance to think on time.
And I'm tracing over your letters,
To see if your intentions are as good as mine.
But you're getting worse,
I swear it.
It's hard to prove, you're an understatement.
You're getting worse,
And I know,
That you'll be calling, calling, calling me again
I can't help how I feel
No, I can't help how I feel
But you're
Getting worse,
I swear it.
It's hard to prove you're an understatement.
You're getting worse,
And I know.
That you'll be calling,
Calling, calling me again.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
A Frenzy Of Everything
Yeeeeessss!! Finally completed my art work, canvas, presentation boards and all! Its going to the marking centre first thing tomorrow morning. Thats one whole load off my mind, for now. next up, preliminary examinations, aaaand, the rehearsal and performance for our band next week. The deferralofsilence has really been practising hard for this, hope it turns out well! =)
yaaarp. ever had a slack and busy week all at once? yeah. slack during school, and busy after school with art work and jamming. like today! five free periods, and one fake fire drill! And its all happening right at the doorstep of the GCE examinations. My class dosen't seem to be in any state of mind for studying now either.
Might be going to Swee Lee tomorrow to buy strings and check out Foo's bass.
=) Gooood night everyone!
Yeeeeessss!! Finally completed my art work, canvas, presentation boards and all! Its going to the marking centre first thing tomorrow morning. Thats one whole load off my mind, for now. next up, preliminary examinations, aaaand, the rehearsal and performance for our band next week. The deferralofsilence has really been practising hard for this, hope it turns out well! =)
yaaarp. ever had a slack and busy week all at once? yeah. slack during school, and busy after school with art work and jamming. like today! five free periods, and one fake fire drill! And its all happening right at the doorstep of the GCE examinations. My class dosen't seem to be in any state of mind for studying now either.
Might be going to Swee Lee tomorrow to buy strings and check out Foo's bass.
=) Gooood night everyone!
Sunday, August 17, 2003
Public Service Announcment
Ladies and gentlemen, if you could kindly direct your attention to the "enlightenments?" , "enlightenments." and "nirvana!" links below each blog entry, you may wish to be informed that these links are for your usage to post comments, insults, compliments, complaints, and messages.
Yours Sincerely,
Public Relations Manager
Sean Tan.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you could kindly direct your attention to the "enlightenments?" , "enlightenments." and "nirvana!" links below each blog entry, you may wish to be informed that these links are for your usage to post comments, insults, compliments, complaints, and messages.
Yours Sincerely,
Public Relations Manager
Sean Tan.
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
ahhhhhh!
I'm working in a completely new computer envioronment now, as my com has just recovered from a viral attack. Fifty-Two viruses, when I scanned it. Sheeeesh. Took me two days to disable it and clear it all up.
Yeah, so anyways. Beeen slaaacking all week, gone jamming on monday, stayed back in school to do art for yesterday and today, aand perhaps we might be jamming again on friday. How's "DeferralOfSilence" as a name for a band? =) hahaha, yarp. might be calling ourselves that, if everyone is okay with it.
haaaaah. okay!
gotta go have my shower now, having tuition soon, so take care and be good y'all!
I'm working in a completely new computer envioronment now, as my com has just recovered from a viral attack. Fifty-Two viruses, when I scanned it. Sheeeesh. Took me two days to disable it and clear it all up.
Yeah, so anyways. Beeen slaaacking all week, gone jamming on monday, stayed back in school to do art for yesterday and today, aand perhaps we might be jamming again on friday. How's "DeferralOfSilence" as a name for a band? =) hahaha, yarp. might be calling ourselves that, if everyone is okay with it.
haaaaah. okay!
gotta go have my shower now, having tuition soon, so take care and be good y'all!
Sunday, August 10, 2003
Love To Hate, Hate To Me - AStaticLullaby
Read the tale of my desire,
A book of hate.
1000 Volts for every smile you gave me.
As your eyes close,
I'll brine, as before, the sight of true unhappiness.
Whisper I care,
Then gracious enough I let you go.
Remember me for the times I ruined you.
Not I made you smile.
Take this blade to my wrist,
Help me end what makes you ugly.
Swimming in the pools of my mind,
You come to me at night.
Leave me black and save yourself.
The story prolongs,
With each word my stomach starts to turn.
I've swallowed nails,
So I can never say your name.
Now words are heard through my eyes.
Can you see the fire that burns from my heart?
This song is for you,
So perfect.
Its my fault I can't sleep 'cause you're on my mind.
I have made an attempt to have you,
Tonight I will sleep with the gun in my mouth.
Good night my love.
Read the tale of my desire,
A book of hate.
1000 Volts for every smile you gave me.
As your eyes close,
I'll brine, as before, the sight of true unhappiness.
Whisper I care,
Then gracious enough I let you go.
Remember me for the times I ruined you.
Not I made you smile.
Take this blade to my wrist,
Help me end what makes you ugly.
Swimming in the pools of my mind,
You come to me at night.
Leave me black and save yourself.
The story prolongs,
With each word my stomach starts to turn.
I've swallowed nails,
So I can never say your name.
Now words are heard through my eyes.
Can you see the fire that burns from my heart?
This song is for you,
So perfect.
Its my fault I can't sleep 'cause you're on my mind.
I have made an attempt to have you,
Tonight I will sleep with the gun in my mouth.
Good night my love.
Saturday, August 09, 2003
TheDailyCrap
waaaazzzzaaaaa. Today's national day thing went rather well. Better than last year. Anyways, apologies to the upper secondary in the canteen today, the mobile system has not been fixed yet and it still sounds kindaaa muddy. yarp. other than that, everything went well I suppose! We even managed to keep all the equipment within 30 mins, 15 mins faster than last year because of our new recruits (Coolies). =D I stayed back in school until about 11am in 3peace slacking with yc, hamzah and foo, then foo started complaining about something I forgot about already before disappearing somewhere.
Anyways. Hamzah and I went to meet Foo and Vern at NovenaSquare before splitting up, with I and hamzah going over to Edwin's place to slack around before going to jam at Boon's.
After jamming and all, w'all went to UnitedSquare to pick up Ed's Amp. yay yay yay. 19kg of freaking cargo added. Slacked and swam @ ed's place & pool. yarp. talked about lotsa stuff. =D haaahh.
I just realised today that I don't sound like me at all when I'm singing. hahahahaha. As in my usual lazy murmuring voice? yarp. Realised that today when I was singing in Edwin's rooom while everyone else was slacking around. hmmmm! going to sleep now. Been a long day. gotta think of a name for the band too. =p take care and be good all!
waaaazzzzaaaaa. Today's national day thing went rather well. Better than last year. Anyways, apologies to the upper secondary in the canteen today, the mobile system has not been fixed yet and it still sounds kindaaa muddy. yarp. other than that, everything went well I suppose! We even managed to keep all the equipment within 30 mins, 15 mins faster than last year because of our new recruits (Coolies). =D I stayed back in school until about 11am in 3peace slacking with yc, hamzah and foo, then foo started complaining about something I forgot about already before disappearing somewhere.
Anyways. Hamzah and I went to meet Foo and Vern at NovenaSquare before splitting up, with I and hamzah going over to Edwin's place to slack around before going to jam at Boon's.
After jamming and all, w'all went to UnitedSquare to pick up Ed's Amp. yay yay yay. 19kg of freaking cargo added. Slacked and swam @ ed's place & pool. yarp. talked about lotsa stuff. =D haaahh.
I just realised today that I don't sound like me at all when I'm singing. hahahahaha. As in my usual lazy murmuring voice? yarp. Realised that today when I was singing in Edwin's rooom while everyone else was slacking around. hmmmm! going to sleep now. Been a long day. gotta think of a name for the band too. =p take care and be good all!
Thursday, August 07, 2003
Surreal
Had our annual setting-up-of-whole-school-for-national-day-performance today. Carted around all the equipment, fortunately with Justin's and the AV staff's help. At least we got some ice-cream from the office after it all. hah. Anyways. Everything went quite well. No system problems or anything. haha. managed to get home by 8.30 after it all. Going to jam tomorrow. Hope that we can finish our second song, with some luck.
Can't really pen down the rest of my thoughts.
So, till next time.
Outta here.
Had our annual setting-up-of-whole-school-for-national-day-performance today. Carted around all the equipment, fortunately with Justin's and the AV staff's help. At least we got some ice-cream from the office after it all. hah. Anyways. Everything went quite well. No system problems or anything. haha. managed to get home by 8.30 after it all. Going to jam tomorrow. Hope that we can finish our second song, with some luck.
Can't really pen down the rest of my thoughts.
So, till next time.
Outta here.
Saturday, August 02, 2003
The Audition
It is what almost every musician anticipates every day. The chance to get to perform in front of an audience, the support, the appreciation, and the applause are one of the most highest points of being part of a performing band. I still remember myself being lost in another dimension during the performance, oblivious everything except the band, with a ominous voice in my head repeating to me that I couldn't possibly let everyone down now. Because all our sessions, all the times spent practicing, it all boiled down to this, one audition, one shot, one opportunity. And yeah, we did do a great job. The other bands did great too. respect, dudes. music music meeeaaaauuuussseeeek. =)
It is what almost every musician anticipates every day. The chance to get to perform in front of an audience, the support, the appreciation, and the applause are one of the most highest points of being part of a performing band. I still remember myself being lost in another dimension during the performance, oblivious everything except the band, with a ominous voice in my head repeating to me that I couldn't possibly let everyone down now. Because all our sessions, all the times spent practicing, it all boiled down to this, one audition, one shot, one opportunity. And yeah, we did do a great job. The other bands did great too. respect, dudes. music music meeeaaaauuuussseeeek. =)
Thursday, July 31, 2003
musicMadness
I think I'm becoming obsessed. Jam session on tuesday till 7.30, Sum41 Concert on wednesday till 10.30, Jammed again today till 6.30, and an audition after school tomorrow. Withdrawl symptoms will probably come in the middle of next week. Anyways, I should go to bed now, its gonna be another long day tomorrow. Stay tuned for more!
I think I'm becoming obsessed. Jam session on tuesday till 7.30, Sum41 Concert on wednesday till 10.30, Jammed again today till 6.30, and an audition after school tomorrow. Withdrawl symptoms will probably come in the middle of next week. Anyways, I should go to bed now, its gonna be another long day tomorrow. Stay tuned for more!
Sunday, July 27, 2003
On Realisation
Last night, amid heartfelt words with a friend on the phone, I realised that I have been taking so many things in my life for granted. Through so many times that I felt that life had owed me something that was left unaccounted for, that I restrained and isolated myself from others, hoping to find a greater need in this life. I don't know why, but at the end of it all, at the end of every day, I still get overwhelmed with weariness as I look around my room, as if searching for answers.
I'm really sorry for what I have caused all these months. Somehow I'm still trying hard to forgive myself. Hopefully it will come before the night dawns on me. But sometimes, when things change, there's no turning back, right? There's no turning back.
Last night, amid heartfelt words with a friend on the phone, I realised that I have been taking so many things in my life for granted. Through so many times that I felt that life had owed me something that was left unaccounted for, that I restrained and isolated myself from others, hoping to find a greater need in this life. I don't know why, but at the end of it all, at the end of every day, I still get overwhelmed with weariness as I look around my room, as if searching for answers.
I'm really sorry for what I have caused all these months. Somehow I'm still trying hard to forgive myself. Hopefully it will come before the night dawns on me. But sometimes, when things change, there's no turning back, right? There's no turning back.