no such thing - john mayer.
"Welcome to the real world", she said to me, condescendingly.
Take a seat, take your life,
Plot it out in black and white.
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
and the drama queens,
I'd like to think the best of me,
Is still hiding up my sleeve.
They love to tell you, "Stay inside the lines."
But something's better, on the other side.
I wanna run through the halls of my high school,
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world,
just a lie you've got to rise above.
So the good boys and girls take the so-called right track,
faded white hats grabbing credits and, maybe transfers.
They read all the books but they can't find the answers.
And all of our parents, they're getting older,
I wonder if they've wished for anything better?
While in their memories, tiny tragedies.
They love to tell you, "Stay inside the lines."
But something's better, on the other side.
I wanna run through the halls of my high school,
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world,
just a lie you've got to rise above.
I am invincible
I am invincible
I am invincible
as long as I'm alivee.
I wanna run through the halls of my high school,
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world,
just a lie you've got to rise above.
I just can't wait till my ten year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors.
And when I stand on these tables before you,
you will know what all this time was for.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
of endings
standing at the end of something, the needful and rightful thing to do is to look up and above, look to the future. but the years of wrangling with my past have trained my eyes and locked them permanently on what i have left behind, things i have lost, gained and lost again, things that could have been, things that were then they weren't again.
but did i ever really have a choice? maybe in another time, in another place, things would be so much different.
to look life in the face, always, to look life in the face, and to know it for what it is. at last to know it- to love it, for what it is, and then, to put it away.. always the years between us, always the years, always the love, always- the hours..\
standing at the end of something, the needful and rightful thing to do is to look up and above, look to the future. but the years of wrangling with my past have trained my eyes and locked them permanently on what i have left behind, things i have lost, gained and lost again, things that could have been, things that were then they weren't again.
but did i ever really have a choice? maybe in another time, in another place, things would be so much different.
to look life in the face, always, to look life in the face, and to know it for what it is. at last to know it- to love it, for what it is, and then, to put it away.. always the years between us, always the years, always the love, always- the hours..\
Thursday, August 19, 2004
IF
if life is a box of chocolates then i say love is a wishing well. you never know what you're gonna lose. it starts when you throw something in; what have you got to lose anyway? soon after, you find yourself expending everything and anything in the hope that something will finally validate everything else you have invested in what began as a whim, and it takes every shred of sanity left in your head not to hurl yourself down as well.
i am not angry. i have been your kind, i have made your choice in my time and i am sure in your position i would have done the same. to have a heart broken is a terrible thing and in the healing process the safest arms we can find are not of those whom we love passionately, for passion bruises a tender heart. but those we care just enough to rest with. from this, some people never get up, and i hope they are happy.
i had an explanation ready. but then i realised; i'm done explaining, i'm done dealing, living, surviving. if the world wants me, it can come and get me. there isn't anything in this world i can do that will make a smidgen of difference to anyone, and even if i'm wrong about this, being right takes too much damned effort.
who, and what, could i possibly be next? i can hardly wait.
if life is a box of chocolates then i say love is a wishing well. you never know what you're gonna lose. it starts when you throw something in; what have you got to lose anyway? soon after, you find yourself expending everything and anything in the hope that something will finally validate everything else you have invested in what began as a whim, and it takes every shred of sanity left in your head not to hurl yourself down as well.
i am not angry. i have been your kind, i have made your choice in my time and i am sure in your position i would have done the same. to have a heart broken is a terrible thing and in the healing process the safest arms we can find are not of those whom we love passionately, for passion bruises a tender heart. but those we care just enough to rest with. from this, some people never get up, and i hope they are happy.
i had an explanation ready. but then i realised; i'm done explaining, i'm done dealing, living, surviving. if the world wants me, it can come and get me. there isn't anything in this world i can do that will make a smidgen of difference to anyone, and even if i'm wrong about this, being right takes too much damned effort.
who, and what, could i possibly be next? i can hardly wait.
Monday, April 26, 2004
NOTHING
i'm sorry if i haven't been good conversation, i just can't be who you want me to be. i'm sorry i haven't been returning calls and answering messages, i don't know what to say. i'm sorry i haven't checked on you in so long, i've forgotten how to start. i'm sorry i don't call anymore, its just feels like my number's up. happy birthday, i'm sorry i remembered. i'm sorry i look like that, it'll stay this way for a while. i'm sorry i can't share your happiness, it'd look weird on me anyhow. i'm sorry i can't tell you why, because i don't know either. i'm sorry everything's going well, otherwise i'd know what to do. i'm sorry i'm not the way you're used to, sometimes i forget i don't have to act since no one's watching. i'm sorry, sorry in the way that has nothing to do with apology.
i'm sorry if i haven't been good conversation, i just can't be who you want me to be. i'm sorry i haven't been returning calls and answering messages, i don't know what to say. i'm sorry i haven't checked on you in so long, i've forgotten how to start. i'm sorry i don't call anymore, its just feels like my number's up. happy birthday, i'm sorry i remembered. i'm sorry i look like that, it'll stay this way for a while. i'm sorry i can't share your happiness, it'd look weird on me anyhow. i'm sorry i can't tell you why, because i don't know either. i'm sorry everything's going well, otherwise i'd know what to do. i'm sorry i'm not the way you're used to, sometimes i forget i don't have to act since no one's watching. i'm sorry, sorry in the way that has nothing to do with apology.
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
worlds apart
this week has been of a teaspoon of insanity coupled with a huge douse of bitter sanity drabbed over. i didn't know what to feel at times, a mixture of despondence and boredom hovering about, with an air of freshness as though i had never had such emotions before. maybe its just the crazy weather, but who knows what makes me feel so warped these days.
switching to the anthropoid frequency, i've had much thoughts and i'd sooner castrate myself than post them here. yet in a nutshell may this explain my erratic decisions and ridiculous behaviour at times.
one may love a ferrari but can't have it.
yet someone had convinced me that one may harbour the love for a ferrari until he saves enough money for it.
this week has been of a teaspoon of insanity coupled with a huge douse of bitter sanity drabbed over. i didn't know what to feel at times, a mixture of despondence and boredom hovering about, with an air of freshness as though i had never had such emotions before. maybe its just the crazy weather, but who knows what makes me feel so warped these days.
switching to the anthropoid frequency, i've had much thoughts and i'd sooner castrate myself than post them here. yet in a nutshell may this explain my erratic decisions and ridiculous behaviour at times.
one may love a ferrari but can't have it.
yet someone had convinced me that one may harbour the love for a ferrari until he saves enough money for it.
Monday, March 29, 2004
trapt the game.
How have you been, nice to see you again
How quickly these conversations seem to end
You meet a friend, every now and then
How quickly these relations turn into trends
Put all your walls up and open your windows
And close all your doors
You find yourself standing in front of the mirror
And now you need more.
What do you wish for?
To catch you as you're falling.
So easy to ignore.
But now you hear it calling again.
I wouldn't want to be you
This lonely game that you play
Between your walls you confuse
Every heart that you break.
So afraid that you'll lose
Always a void to replace
I wouldn't want to play you.
You try and pretend, the truth is hard to bend
How easy these translations can be read.
What if you were led to play a different game instead?
How hard these frustrations are to mend.
Does it matter to you?
Just wait.
How have you been, nice to see you again
How quickly these conversations seem to end
You meet a friend, every now and then
How quickly these relations turn into trends
Put all your walls up and open your windows
And close all your doors
You find yourself standing in front of the mirror
And now you need more.
What do you wish for?
To catch you as you're falling.
So easy to ignore.
But now you hear it calling again.
I wouldn't want to be you
This lonely game that you play
Between your walls you confuse
Every heart that you break.
So afraid that you'll lose
Always a void to replace
I wouldn't want to play you.
You try and pretend, the truth is hard to bend
How easy these translations can be read.
What if you were led to play a different game instead?
How hard these frustrations are to mend.
Does it matter to you?
Just wait.
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Probabilities
Maybe I should find some time to sit down and write my journal. Afterall, I might get knocked down by a car tomorrow. Or I might decide to jump off the balcony (and just before I hit the ground, get hit by an incoming car). Or even more pathetically, I might accidentally stab myself when I'm paring an apple, accidentally fall off the balcony, and then accidentally get hit by a car. I know its damn no link, but who knows?
Maybe I should find some time to sit down and write my journal. Afterall, I might get knocked down by a car tomorrow. Or I might decide to jump off the balcony (and just before I hit the ground, get hit by an incoming car). Or even more pathetically, I might accidentally stab myself when I'm paring an apple, accidentally fall off the balcony, and then accidentally get hit by a car. I know its damn no link, but who knows?
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Nickelback someday.
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able,
To see the signs that we missed?
And try to turn the tables.
I wish you'd unclench your fists,
And unpack your suitcase,
Lately there's been too much of this.
Don't think its too late.
Nothin's wrong,
Just as long as you know that,
Someday I will.
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that,
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
Well, I hoped that since we're here anyway.
We could end up saying,
Things we've always needed to say,
So we could end up stringing.
Now the story's played out like this,
Just like a paperback novel,
Lets rewrite an ending that fits,
Instead of a hollywood horror.
Nothin's wrong,
Just as long as you know that,
Someday I will.
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that,
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that.
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able,
To see the signs that we missed?
And try to turn the tables.
Now the story's played out like this,
Just like a paperback novel.
Lets rewrite an ending that fits,
Instead of a hollywood horror.
Nothin's wrong,
Just as long as you know that,
Someday I will.
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that,
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that.
I know you're wondering when.
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able,
To see the signs that we missed?
And try to turn the tables.
I wish you'd unclench your fists,
And unpack your suitcase,
Lately there's been too much of this.
Don't think its too late.
Nothin's wrong,
Just as long as you know that,
Someday I will.
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that,
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
Well, I hoped that since we're here anyway.
We could end up saying,
Things we've always needed to say,
So we could end up stringing.
Now the story's played out like this,
Just like a paperback novel,
Lets rewrite an ending that fits,
Instead of a hollywood horror.
Nothin's wrong,
Just as long as you know that,
Someday I will.
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that,
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that.
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able,
To see the signs that we missed?
And try to turn the tables.
Now the story's played out like this,
Just like a paperback novel.
Lets rewrite an ending that fits,
Instead of a hollywood horror.
Nothin's wrong,
Just as long as you know that,
Someday I will.
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that,
Someday, somehow,
Gonna make it all right but not right now.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that.
I know you're wondering when.
You're the only one who knows that.
I know you're wondering when.
Monday, January 26, 2004
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Reset
its not that i've given my blog up, everyday life tends to take a toll on a person, clouding his conscience, thoughts and emotions. i try to write, but the deafening silence that resounds through my head prevents me from doing so, and now that i am writing, it just shows the irony of it all.
and today, it struck me, its about time for a little reflection. upon introspection, the man alone may feel not at all lonely yet the lonely man may be not at all alone. i need to be alone for some time, to be able to think as much as i love, to be able to foresee as much as i recollect. after all,
complacency is the next biggest sin after not trying.
and then it was done. you fell backwards on your rear, extremely estactic that you had accomplished such a feat. such a feat for such a small being. but your immature worldview had discounted a vital fact: that you had build your self-believed impenetratable rampart too close to the building and crashing waves upon the shore. suddenly the sunlight dimmed from above you. you looked up; and everything was gone.
on another note, i believe that every one of us has that someone special, someone perfect, just waiting somewhere out there, to meet you. i might have walked past her 2 weeks ago on the street, stood next to her on the train, all without knowing. the subtle yearning to find that love, a misdirection, reasons for so many divorces, so many broken hearts and ended relationships. or maybe it is just that people change?
Good guys don't last long in these parts, and I keep forgetting that.
its not that i've given my blog up, everyday life tends to take a toll on a person, clouding his conscience, thoughts and emotions. i try to write, but the deafening silence that resounds through my head prevents me from doing so, and now that i am writing, it just shows the irony of it all.
and today, it struck me, its about time for a little reflection. upon introspection, the man alone may feel not at all lonely yet the lonely man may be not at all alone. i need to be alone for some time, to be able to think as much as i love, to be able to foresee as much as i recollect. after all,
complacency is the next biggest sin after not trying.
and then it was done. you fell backwards on your rear, extremely estactic that you had accomplished such a feat. such a feat for such a small being. but your immature worldview had discounted a vital fact: that you had build your self-believed impenetratable rampart too close to the building and crashing waves upon the shore. suddenly the sunlight dimmed from above you. you looked up; and everything was gone.
on another note, i believe that every one of us has that someone special, someone perfect, just waiting somewhere out there, to meet you. i might have walked past her 2 weeks ago on the street, stood next to her on the train, all without knowing. the subtle yearning to find that love, a misdirection, reasons for so many divorces, so many broken hearts and ended relationships. or maybe it is just that people change?
Good guys don't last long in these parts, and I keep forgetting that.
Thursday, January 01, 2004
All Over?
And the year draws to a close, so much has happened, yet seemingly in such a small amount of time. I can still feel the apprehension as I stepped into my new class for the first time last year, the mixed feelings that encapsulated me for the first six months, the band, our practices and our first concert, the SARS epidemic, of new friends and forgotton ones, and thus, as another chapter of our lives draws to a close, I wonder how history will remember us today?
On another note, the new Gatsby commercials are disturbing beyond words. You owe yourself to watch them.
Happy New Year 2004 everyone.
And the year draws to a close, so much has happened, yet seemingly in such a small amount of time. I can still feel the apprehension as I stepped into my new class for the first time last year, the mixed feelings that encapsulated me for the first six months, the band, our practices and our first concert, the SARS epidemic, of new friends and forgotton ones, and thus, as another chapter of our lives draws to a close, I wonder how history will remember us today?
On another note, the new Gatsby commercials are disturbing beyond words. You owe yourself to watch them.
Happy New Year 2004 everyone.