Birthdays

I have decided that birthdays are unimportant once you reach the age of maturity where the childhood years are just mere distant memories of lost innocence. Sometimes, we yearn for the lost years, but we never get what we want, do we?

And just when I have decided that birthdays shouldn't be celebrated, you came falling like the falling star. Tumbling, free falling through the fog that reeks of disillusionment. I guess I could only say thank you, but what am I to do with all these ponderous expectancies?

You should know I am running away one day. She taught me to be heartless and I am a solitary voyager. I can only have memories of you, and then I will run away someday. My heart is too small and there is only place for fleeting transient memories.


and he didn't care. so why did you?

Top 5 signs you should clear your room.

1. You require a shovel to get from one side of the room to another.

2. Your table starts sagging under the weight of your stuff.

3. More and more items are now being pushed to the outside of your room.

4. Tidying the room now seems like a 14 month project.

OR,

5. You get this.

Konstantine somethingcorporate


I can't imagine all the people that you know,
and the places that you go
when the lights are turned down low.
And I don't understand all the things you've seen,
but I'm slipping inbetween,
you and your big dreams.
It's always you,
in my big dreams.

And you tell me, that it's over.
Wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers,
and your restless, and I'm naked.
You've gotta get out,
you can't stand to see me shaking
No.
Could you let me go?
I didn't think so.

And you don't wanna be here in the future,
so you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past.
And you don't wanna look much closer
cos' your afraid to find out all this hope
you had sent into the sky by now had, Crashed.
And it did,
because of me.

And then you bring me home,
afraid to find out that you're alone.
And I'm sleeping in your living room,
but we don't have much room to live.

And I had these dreams and then I learned to play guitar.
Maybe cross the country,
become a rock star.
And there was hope in me that I could take you there,
but dammit you're so young,
well I don't think I care.
And if I hurt you,
then I'm sorry.
Please don't think that this was easy.

And then you bring me home,
cos' we both know what it's like to be alone.
And I'm dreaming in your living room
but we don't have much room to live.

And Konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesn't she look good
standing in her underwear?
And I was thinking,
what I was thinking.
We've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere.

my Konstantine came walking down the stairs,
and all that I could do is touch her long, blonde, hair.
And I've been thinking,
it hurts me thinking that these nights
when we were drinking, no they never got us anywhere.

No.

This is because I can spell konfusion with a "K"
and I like it.
It's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it.
It's to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car,
when the first star you see may not be a star.
I'm not your star.
Isn't that what you said?
What you thought this song meant?

And if this is what it takes
just to lie with my mistakes
and live with what I did to you,
and all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock
it's 11:11 ,
and now you want to talk.
It's not hard to dream
you'll always be my Konstantine.

my Konstantine, they'll never hurt you like I do.
No, they'll never hurt you like I do,
no, no, no no no no no no.

This is to a girl who got into my head
With all the pretty things she did.
Hey,
you know,
you keep me up in bed.
This is to a girl who got into my head
with all these fucked up things I did
Hey,
maybe,
baby,
you could keep me up in bed,
my Konstantine.
You spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen.
And I said,
did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?

I miss you.

And then you bring me home,
And we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone. No no.
And you'll kiss me in your living room.
I know,
I know you'll miss me in your living room
Cos' these nights I think maybe that I'll miss you in my, living room.
We don't have much room,
I said does anybody need that room?
Because we all need a little more room,
To live.

my Konstantine.

Morning

Good morning! Well, actually, afternoon.
Time seems to lose its meaning during holidays.

Ah well, here comes rain.

Erm.

Someone get the Prozac.


Had to post this in the unlikely case of the crazy happenings during our band chalet gets whisked out of my head by the whirl of everyday life. (some of you were bugging me to post it anyway, so shut up and read.)

The first day was pretty uneventful, with the initial plan of letting ourselves get thrown about on the rides at Escape theme park being ruined by the discovery on our arrival, that the park only opened on weekends and school holidays. With nothing better to do, I was thinking that it was going to be a real boring night that day.
I couldnt have been further from the truth.
Someone suggested buying alcoholic drinks, and as usual, I was called upon to buy them. (Buy them, NOT pay for them)

Turned out that quite a few people (including me), miscalculated our alcohol threshold, and sent themselves into their own surreal world of drunkedness. I won't divulge the amount of alcohol I drank (I think I shouted it out loud enough in my drunk state), but I remember starting out with a slightly dizzy head, followed by the gradual failure of your balance system, after which, your whole mind goes into a dream world where your brain starts to process everything as a dream, and not as reality. Finally fell asleep in the room, after being dragged there from the living room floor.

Woke up the next morning to find myself wearing my sweater (huh?), and with a horrible nausea filling my head. For the next 3 days, the very smell of alcohol would make me feel nauseous again. Was told that I put on my sweater while sleepwalking at night (huh?) Wierd stuff.

Not much done on the second day, with some of us suffering from hangovers, and people like me, feeling like our legs and stomach had switched places, with our stomach feeling solid, and legs filled with kuey tiao. Recovered in time though, and the BBQ was a considerable success, everyone ate their fill of great food, and we even had so much food ( and so little people ) that we had to give some to our neighbouring barbequers. All because Cheryl didnt come! (Read the Pizza post to get my meaning.)

After that, we all gathered at the chalet, and they got drunk, again. This time, more interesting events happened. Shall not divulge into the details yah? I was sober though, couldn't take a drop more lest I eject my dinner prematurely.

I woke up on the third day feeling like the Energiser Bunny, with everyone except Sherman and I still fast asleep. Woke up everyone, showered, inventory check, packed, called housekeeping, checked out.

My hangover arrived duly on the 3rd day after that night, right on my work day.

Brilliant.

If You're Gone - matchboxtwenty


I think I've already lost you,
I think you're already gone.
I think I'm finally scared now,
You think I'm weak - I think you're wrong.
I think you're already leaving,
Feels like your hand is on the door.
I thought this place was an empire.
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure.

And I think you're so mean - I think we should try.
I think I could need - this in my life,
And I think I'm just scared - I think too much.
I know its wrong it's a problem I'm dealing-

If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home.
There's an awful lot of breathing room,
But I can hardly move.
If you're gone - baby you need to come home.
There's a little bit of something me,
In everything in you.

I bet you're hard to get over.
I bet the room just won't shine.
I bet my hands I can stay here,
And I bet you need - more than you mind.

And I think you're so mean - I think we should try.
I think I could need - this in my life,
And I think I'm just scared - that I know too much.
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling-

If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home.
There's an awful lot of breathing room,
But I can hardly move.
If you're gone - baby you need to come home.
There's a little bit of something me,
In everything in you.

On Beer Fountains

Sorry to disappoint my ardent supporters who've visited here, but only to see the same entry for the past one month. And yes, the time has come for me yet again to update, my near-rotting place on the web.

I was on bartending duty today at Sheraton Towers, covering up for the main bartender when he went off to collect stock from the basement. And as it was the bar that was at the "back of the house" , which was a term to describe something that was not for guest's use, it was quite a simple job.
Supposedly.

I had the good fortune to have the beer canister run out just as the bartender went out again. And as there were many waiters with orders for beer, I made the (bad) choice to try to change it myself. Gingerly grabbing the nozzle, I tried pulling it to one side. The catch released itself, sending up a short burst of air before the valve slammed shut. But, inexperienced me actually thought that "short burst" of air was the unrestrained release of the pressurised contents within the canister. I slammed the nozzle back in, twisting it to lock it, but the catch did not engage properly, resulting in the release pin being pushed down into the unsealed valve.
The result of that was a splendid display of beer flying all over the bar, mostly onto me, in front of the surprised waiters. Cursing, I had to release the catch and lock it again to stop the flow.

Other than that, I survived.

Of Work and Frogs.


Didnt get to blog for the past 2 days. Got back like 1 in the morning or so, from work. Yeah, somehow managed to get myself dragged into a job at Suntec City, some kind of Part Time waiter, for banquets and all. About 10 us were from KCPSS, and we all had NO experience in this kind of field whatsoever, and imagine my horror when we learnt that we had to pour soup, cut the fish, portion rice, and distribute dessert, all in front of the guests.

First day on friday was "Training" where they briefly explained basic etiquette and serving, telling about the Do's and Don'ts, how to respond to guests, and briefing us on the next night. In which we would be serving 700 tables with 7000 guests, 8 courses each. Yeah, go ahead, scream.

Here's a summary of friday night.

4.20 - Took a cab from school to Suntec City
4.30 - Arrived at Suntec City, got lost looking for our agent.
4.35 - Went to information counter, where our Agent found us.
4.45 - At workers check-in point, checked in, went to training.
5.30 - Bored like hell.
6.30 - Still bored like hell.
7.30 - Not over yet.
9.00 - Training ended, checked out, went for "End-of-Exams Dinner"
10.00 - Reached some BBQ Buffet restaurant at Marina Bay, started whacking.
11.30 - Full, but some other guys still eating.
11.45 - Left the restaurant in search of a bus.
11.52 - Spotted a toad/frog on the sidewalk.
11.53 - Frog/toad kicked by Andy onto road.
11.53 - Andy and Vincent went to raod to kick another 2 frog/toads.
11.54 - Frog/toad sprayed with Andy's aerosol spray ( Some kind of Cologne )
11.54 - Frog/toad burnt by Andy spraying his aerosol with a lighter in front.
11.55 - Frog/toad escaped.
12.00 - Realised we had missed the last bus.
12.05 - Started walking in a random direction towards where we thought the MRT would be.
12.10 - Stopped a car to ask for directions.
12.12 - Continued walking.
12.20 - Same car went by, offering to give us a lift to the MRT station.
12.30 - Arrived at the MRT station, the kind driver had to make 2 trips to get all of us there. The total distance was about 3km, so we would have died without him.
12.40 - Inside MRT station, No train either.
12.43 - Asked some workers outside the station for a lift in a pickup.
12.45 - On the pickup, on the way to the esplanade.
12.50 - On Nicoll Highway, enjoying the view.
12.55 - At destination. Still no sign of a Nightrider bus stop.
1.05 - Boarded a taxi to Bishan.
1.06 - Asleep in taxi.
1.20 - Back in Bishan.

Yeah, thats not what many would consider a "Summary" but that's the best I could do to shorten it.

Yesterday was the big night, the night where 500 clueless part-timers would make an attempt to serve 700 tables, with 7000 guests. Officially, it was a big screwup, as logistics for 7000 people was no simple matter for the captains, so everyone was quite in a bad mood that night, rushing around serving food.
When it was all finally over, the captains all took us behind into the workers area where all the F's, S's, H's and D's were hurled at us by the captains.

And so I realised, I'm still alive after all.

The final stretch.


I tell myself that I must study, but the effort is laughable when I barely accomplish my readings and spend too much time online instead. My hours are consumed by the need to sleep, but even in rest a little minder sits at the back of my mind screaming out how little time I have got left.


I look up at the skies, at the thick dark clouds that hug closely to the tops of the buildings. The wind whips around me like a sword unsheathed, and I wonder why it doesn't pour. The constipated skies mirror a clogging in the head, and as it finally rains I murmur a prayer and realise that it is a mere drizzle that can fill a teapot. I retaliate by sticking a finger skywards (insert swear-word here), and sit down at the computer again, the notes left untouched.

20 Below - hiddeninplainview


This puzzled look you stare to me says,
You put me back together.
Her head's down, she waits so impatiently.
Scattered in my heart, torn up and ripped up apart.
It's ripped apart.
And you know I should have known the times she looked at me.
Brace yourself.
She falls, gracefully.

Just wait and you'll see you're everything I want.
Dont take this from me.
Just wait and you'll see you're everything I want.
Dont take this from me now!


With the wind strong in my face,
I'm still staggering through.
I'm closer to the ground then I will ever get to you.
Dirt deep beneath my finger nails I'm gripping to the floor.
Searching through the world always looking for something more

And these cold winter nights, without you next to me.
It feels like 20 below.
Frost bite on my heart
This pain and suffering are feelings that,
You don't know.

Does it feel like, 20 Below?

(another) Public Service Announcement

Tianyu has (also) changed his virtual residence to:

http://www.tianyu.biz/



muahahha. I should charge for this! :p

But you can't change this loneliness.

we went jamming today, after a 2 week break, and speaking of break, i broke hamzah's drumsticks during some over-enthusiastical playing. whoops. gonna look for a new pair, perhaps next week. lol =p

after that, we all took a cab down to edwin's house to eat and chill. edwin treated us to rockys pizza! =D

and Syed got himself into trouble.

yarp, he bet that if Cheryl could finish 4 pieces of Rocky's pizza ( which was double of Pizzahuts pizzas ) he would do a striptease in edwin's room.

Cheryl did it.

YES. HAHAHAHAHAHA. he didnt want to do it at first, but after threats of being raped from the rest of the guys, he relented. it was damn funny larh. he was using the curtain to cover certain parts of his anatomy. for about 30 seconds. i was laughing too hard even to look. hehh. too bad we didnt get a picture, or i'd put it up here. LOL!

we had to go soon after that, as Edwin's cousins were coming home. the girls wanted to go take neoprints at the Heeren, some funny machine which the guys had completely no idea of which camera to look at. ended up with some wierd photos. haahh.

yaaaarp. I'm deaad tired now, after dragging my guitar around orchard road. gonna slack for a while before sleeping. take care all. =)

Public Announcement Service

Clarence's blog has changed address to:

http://fo0.blogspot.com/

yarp! =)

The Artist In The Ambulance - thrice


Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal,
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel.
My world goes black before I feel an angel lift me up,
And I open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white,
They flip the siren, hit the lights, close the doors and I am gone.

Now I lay here owing my life to a stranger,
And I realize that, empty words are not enough.
I'm left here with the question of just,
What have I to show except, the promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets.
I hope that I will never let you down.
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound.

Look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares.
It gets me down but I'm still gonna try to do what's right,
I know that there's a difference between sleight of hand,
And giving everything you have.
There's a line drawn in the sand, I'm working up the will to cross it.

Rhetoric can't raise the dead.
I'm sick of always talking, when there's no change.
Rhetoric can't raise the dead.
I'm sick of empty words, let's lead and not follow.

Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the,
Greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands.
They've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance.

I hope that I will never let you down.
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound.

Can we pick you off the ground, more than flashing lights and sound.

Ramblings

from the main road, you could already see clouds of smoke rising from Bishan park, even in the darkness of the night. yes, it was the Lantern Festival yesterday! the few chances where you can actually launch a salvo of rockets without getting arrested, as bishan park was practically swarmed with children and their parents alike, playing with lanterns, sparklers, and homemade rockets. whooohoo! =)

once you were in there, the whole place looked very much like a war zone, with smoke, fire, and whistling sparklers going off in all directions. the whole air was filled with smoke! yeahhh, after we had used up all our sparklers and fired my rockets. 3 flew, 1 almost flew, and 1 burned out.

anyways.

i woke up at one today, from Wan Ting reminding me I was supposed to be in school four hours ago, for the video editing training. went back to sleep for another half hour before actually waking up. i usually wake up before 10, but sleeping at 2 last night might have been it. so there.

Dohhh.

come to think of it, i actually just realised that this "break" hasnt been much of a rest for me, with the daily wake up call at 7 for my morning routine before rushing to school for the dreaded exams.

hahahaha. yeah, the exams i was supposed to study for. :D

had our video-competition training this morning. yarp. mostly slacking around for me, doing lame stuff with the camera and all. hahaha. Kevin has written a most detailed documentary on it. Go check it out. =)

in other news, another day of band shopping today! this time, for Vern's acoustic guitar. we went to 7, yes, i'll spell it out, SEVEN guitar shops, in the hunt for Vern's new instrument.

yeah, you could call it guy-shopping.

haaahh. =D

Down. - somethingcorporate


Let's get drunk,
You can drive us to the harbor.
Wish upon a star but,
Do you know what stars are?
Balls of fire, burning up the black space.
Falling from the landscape,
Exploding in the face of God.

Let's get crazy,
Talk about our big plans.
Places that you're going,
Places that I haven't been.
Build my walls up,
Concrete castle.
Keep this kingdom free of hassle, yeah.

Yeah.

But I need some, echo in the emptiness.
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.

Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone,
Tell me that you're alone, tell me on the telephone.
Feel your heart it breaks within your chest now.
Try to get some rest now, sleeps not coming easy for a while, child.

Child, yeah.

But I need some, echo in the emptiness.
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.

Down, down.

But I need some, echo in the emptiness.
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness.
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.

Look at what you've found, I'm falling down.

No, that's not right.

this posting is to remind myself that i'm still here, minus the inspiration to blog.
yarp. anyways.

exams rushing up at me. time to (really) study.

bye.

I Miss You. - incubus


To see you when I wake up,
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same,
As I do, is a three-fold utopian dream.

You do something to me,
That I can't explain.
So would I be out of line, if I said,
I miss you.

I see your picture, I smell your skin on,
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I am wasting away.
I know I'll see you again,
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know, that I care.

And I miss you.