just got back today from a whirlwind of events that started off with a mild sore throat on monday, eventually developing into flu-like symptoms which saw me being sent to TTSH Communicable Disease Centre 2 for suspected H1N1.
it was really an eye opener to find myself in the trenches of warfare against the H1N1 virus. after reporting to my unit MO (medical officer) for flu-like symptoms and shortness of breath caused by my asthma, he sent me to TTSH A&E where i was subjected to various blood tests, x-rays and nebulization. the A&E ward seemed quite overloaded, with ambulances constantly dropping off patients at the loading bay. waiting time was consequently pretty long, ended up waiting nearly 5 hours before the doctor decided to send me to CDC2 to be warded. had the IV catheters inserted, throat and nose swabs (ouch) taken, and was whisked by a waiting ambulance into CDC2.
i was placed in an air conditioned isolation room (4 x 4 m) with an attached toilet, and was told that i wasn't allowed to step out of my ward. thus began two days of sleeping, eating, or otherwise just staring into blank space. as patient contact was minimized, i rarely got any visitors except for the occasional meal delivery and blood pressure / oxygen test. it was pretty evident every step was taken to minimize the risk of cross infection. my meal containers & cutlery was disposable, everyone wore masks around and had to wear gloves if they were to come in contact with the patient. pretty much the more time you spent in there, the less human you felt every day.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
my first post op-review
arrived for my review with doc voon today at 8.25am, went through a couple of tests which confirmed that my right eye was definitely faring better than my left. i am now a full 6/6 in my right eye and a 6/7.5 in the left, which is expected to improve further over the coming week.
slowly strolling back from TTSH, against the hoards of people rushing to work was once again a very familiar yet surreal experience. i remember doing this same thing just last week, except with spectacles, very hopeful yet apprehensive of the operation. dropped by the nearby video arcade, just to relive the experience once again. and it felt strangely good. had another slow stroll around NTUC, where the colors of the fruits in the produce section never seemed more vivid.
i love seeing!
arrived for my review with doc voon today at 8.25am, went through a couple of tests which confirmed that my right eye was definitely faring better than my left. i am now a full 6/6 in my right eye and a 6/7.5 in the left, which is expected to improve further over the coming week.
slowly strolling back from TTSH, against the hoards of people rushing to work was once again a very familiar yet surreal experience. i remember doing this same thing just last week, except with spectacles, very hopeful yet apprehensive of the operation. dropped by the nearby video arcade, just to relive the experience once again. and it felt strangely good. had another slow stroll around NTUC, where the colors of the fruits in the produce section never seemed more vivid.
i love seeing!
My LASIK experience
disclaimer : the following was written in a state of post-op semi-blindness, so please excuse the lack of coherence.
3.00pm - pre-operation (left eye)
i sat nervously outside the operating theatre, heart scampering quicker than a mouse. i was wearing a simple operation gown that was obviously too small for me, and a silly blue cap to keep my hair out of the way. i also had a little piece of white tape stuck on my forehead pointing towards the eye to be operated. the nurses were chattering while sterilizing equipment and one came over to clean the area around my left eye. i remember looking in to see my surgeon sitting down at a very futuristic looking machine, probably running some tests. i could hear the excimer laser making its loud tapping noises while it was being prepared. very soon my eyes were anesthetized with numbing drops and i was led into the OT.
3.15pm - operation
i said hello to dr voon and her four fuzzy-looking nurses standing around her looking at me (i was without spectacles by then), and lay down on a flat bed right under some bright white LED lights. i remember hearing a faint whirring noise as they positioned the machine directly over my left eye, and then a couple more (blurry looking) lights/lasers came into view, including the red blinking one that i was supposed to be staring at for the duration of the operation. i was given a light eye cover that was taped gently over my right eye, and soon dr voon started taping my eyelashes down before an eye clamp was eased into my eyelids to keep them open. various instruments came in and out of my vision, and soon the familiar sight of the suction ring was placed over my eye. i experienced some pressure, and soon my vision slowly kind of hazed out into darkness.
"suction on"
i felt the suction ring clamp lightly onto my eyeball. i soon felt something being fitted over the ring and heard the sound of the microkeratome whirring over my eye for a while before dr voon said "suction off" and the whole device was lifted off my eye. my eye was cleaned for a bit before the flap was lifted off. that was when all the lights became really blurred patches. i kept staring at the centre of the red laser as instructed and soon the excimer laser swung into action, making a loud clicking noise. the red laser blob started looking very slightly different with every click, and soon it was done. an instrument was placed in my eye and the flap was lifted back into place.
3.30 - post op
i went outside, shaken but happy that the procedure was surprisingly easier than i thought. sat around, messing with my eyedrops and lay back for a while before being called in for my first post-op review. dr voon seemed to be quite happy with her work, and sent me off with a smile.
walking down the halls of TTSH seemed very different. the lights had sort of wierd haloes around them, and my vision was very slightly hazy in the left eye, although a very significant difference could be seen in the clarity between my left and right eyes.
10pm - that day
slept most of the afternoon away, with frequent wakings every 2 hours to instil the anti-inflammatory and antibiotic eyedrops. my eyes hurt a little just now, felt like an eyelash stuck in the eye, though my eyesight is much better now, i ate dinner without spectacles! things are much clearer, only missing the finer details. i can't wait to see what tomorrow morning will bring. right eye tomorrow 9.30am!
6.30am - next day (right eye)
i woke up and looked out of the window, it was a beautiful sunrise and my vision was much clearer than yesterday. the pain that was prevalent yesterday was completely gone. went online and texted quingjue. met him for a simple breakfast at the coffeeshop, where i got a lot of wierd stares from people with my eye patch on.
9.30am - at TTSH
arrived on time with quing at the lasik centre. sat around in the waiting area for a bit before being called in for a simple eye chart test which i experienced some difficulty with. the doc said it was probably my large iris that was contributing to a extended healing time, and soon i had donned the familiar white operating gown and that silly blue cap and was lead into the OT once more, where everything was pretty much a repeat from the previous day, no complications. i remember sitting up after the operation and looking around, my right eye was still very hazy, but its vision matched that of the left very closely now, and i could see! at the post op review, dr voon reviewed her work, seemed satisfied, and even mentioned to me after the review that she thought i was one of the most cooperative patients she had! according to her, most patients below 23, being nervous and all, often have difficulty in holding their eye still during the operation. wouldnt know about that, i already thought i had made some movement during the 'lasering' part of the operation
1pm - that day
i woke up, had lunch with quing at my place, he came by to accompany me for the afternoon. noticed that my right eye, which was just operated on, had vision that was better than that of my left eye. my freshly operated right eye hurts quite a bit too. will try to get more rest and update tomorrow, when my first review comes!
disclaimer : the following was written in a state of post-op semi-blindness, so please excuse the lack of coherence.
3.00pm - pre-operation (left eye)
i sat nervously outside the operating theatre, heart scampering quicker than a mouse. i was wearing a simple operation gown that was obviously too small for me, and a silly blue cap to keep my hair out of the way. i also had a little piece of white tape stuck on my forehead pointing towards the eye to be operated. the nurses were chattering while sterilizing equipment and one came over to clean the area around my left eye. i remember looking in to see my surgeon sitting down at a very futuristic looking machine, probably running some tests. i could hear the excimer laser making its loud tapping noises while it was being prepared. very soon my eyes were anesthetized with numbing drops and i was led into the OT.
3.15pm - operation
i said hello to dr voon and her four fuzzy-looking nurses standing around her looking at me (i was without spectacles by then), and lay down on a flat bed right under some bright white LED lights. i remember hearing a faint whirring noise as they positioned the machine directly over my left eye, and then a couple more (blurry looking) lights/lasers came into view, including the red blinking one that i was supposed to be staring at for the duration of the operation. i was given a light eye cover that was taped gently over my right eye, and soon dr voon started taping my eyelashes down before an eye clamp was eased into my eyelids to keep them open. various instruments came in and out of my vision, and soon the familiar sight of the suction ring was placed over my eye. i experienced some pressure, and soon my vision slowly kind of hazed out into darkness.
"suction on"
i felt the suction ring clamp lightly onto my eyeball. i soon felt something being fitted over the ring and heard the sound of the microkeratome whirring over my eye for a while before dr voon said "suction off" and the whole device was lifted off my eye. my eye was cleaned for a bit before the flap was lifted off. that was when all the lights became really blurred patches. i kept staring at the centre of the red laser as instructed and soon the excimer laser swung into action, making a loud clicking noise. the red laser blob started looking very slightly different with every click, and soon it was done. an instrument was placed in my eye and the flap was lifted back into place.
3.30 - post op
i went outside, shaken but happy that the procedure was surprisingly easier than i thought. sat around, messing with my eyedrops and lay back for a while before being called in for my first post-op review. dr voon seemed to be quite happy with her work, and sent me off with a smile.
walking down the halls of TTSH seemed very different. the lights had sort of wierd haloes around them, and my vision was very slightly hazy in the left eye, although a very significant difference could be seen in the clarity between my left and right eyes.
10pm - that day
slept most of the afternoon away, with frequent wakings every 2 hours to instil the anti-inflammatory and antibiotic eyedrops. my eyes hurt a little just now, felt like an eyelash stuck in the eye, though my eyesight is much better now, i ate dinner without spectacles! things are much clearer, only missing the finer details. i can't wait to see what tomorrow morning will bring. right eye tomorrow 9.30am!
6.30am - next day (right eye)
i woke up and looked out of the window, it was a beautiful sunrise and my vision was much clearer than yesterday. the pain that was prevalent yesterday was completely gone. went online and texted quingjue. met him for a simple breakfast at the coffeeshop, where i got a lot of wierd stares from people with my eye patch on.
9.30am - at TTSH
arrived on time with quing at the lasik centre. sat around in the waiting area for a bit before being called in for a simple eye chart test which i experienced some difficulty with. the doc said it was probably my large iris that was contributing to a extended healing time, and soon i had donned the familiar white operating gown and that silly blue cap and was lead into the OT once more, where everything was pretty much a repeat from the previous day, no complications. i remember sitting up after the operation and looking around, my right eye was still very hazy, but its vision matched that of the left very closely now, and i could see! at the post op review, dr voon reviewed her work, seemed satisfied, and even mentioned to me after the review that she thought i was one of the most cooperative patients she had! according to her, most patients below 23, being nervous and all, often have difficulty in holding their eye still during the operation. wouldnt know about that, i already thought i had made some movement during the 'lasering' part of the operation
1pm - that day
i woke up, had lunch with quing at my place, he came by to accompany me for the afternoon. noticed that my right eye, which was just operated on, had vision that was better than that of my left eye. my freshly operated right eye hurts quite a bit too. will try to get more rest and update tomorrow, when my first review comes!
Friday, February 09, 2007
hello hello
i am sitting in SIM's canteen with kang sheng now, who happens to be making a big ruckus out of himself while still managing to chew up his cup of ice. deadline WAS at 5pm today, but it seemed that half the cohort didnt manage to pass up their work today either. so it seems i've been resigned to another weekend burning my laptop up with final cut, meh.
kang sheng is like rambling on about talking to his future self, and how cool it would be if you could find out about the events in the future? very hard to concentrate leh friend, people blogging you talking cock.
anyway lights are going off now, its 8pm and closing time, ta!
i am sitting in SIM's canteen with kang sheng now, who happens to be making a big ruckus out of himself while still managing to chew up his cup of ice. deadline WAS at 5pm today, but it seemed that half the cohort didnt manage to pass up their work today either. so it seems i've been resigned to another weekend burning my laptop up with final cut, meh.
kang sheng is like rambling on about talking to his future self, and how cool it would be if you could find out about the events in the future? very hard to concentrate leh friend, people blogging you talking cock.
anyway lights are going off now, its 8pm and closing time, ta!
Friday, April 14, 2006
hardly any updates by anyone these days, seems like blogging is a dying trend? feeling quite sick now, half sick that is, sore throat and all but still doing quite fine, thank you very much.
despite that, was back at work @ ACO today, and at one point i was actually demo-ing a set of in-ear headphones to a customer, and i mean in-ear as in those types with the soft rubber flanges that you actually stuff in your ear canal.
lesson no 1:
never, ever try on in-ear headphones at any electronics store.
why? come around soon and i'll show you. sheesh. it surprises me how many people fail to keep their ears clean. i'm guessing that if we actually collected all the wax that accumulates on those things every day we'd probably have a foot long candle by the end of the year.
trash that.
have a great Good Friday holiday everyone.
despite that, was back at work @ ACO today, and at one point i was actually demo-ing a set of in-ear headphones to a customer, and i mean in-ear as in those types with the soft rubber flanges that you actually stuff in your ear canal.
lesson no 1:
never, ever try on in-ear headphones at any electronics store.
why? come around soon and i'll show you. sheesh. it surprises me how many people fail to keep their ears clean. i'm guessing that if we actually collected all the wax that accumulates on those things every day we'd probably have a foot long candle by the end of the year.
trash that.
have a great Good Friday holiday everyone.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
whew.
took the past few days off blogging to chiong out most of the semester's final tests and projects, finally managed to complete them just this afternoon, within deadline. whew! definitely feels like a bitch of a load off my back. gratitude to kangsheng, kaixiang and jowell for the help that they rendered during the course of my work.
on another note, this special day, i'd like to dedicate this post to dearest thea, whose relentless support has led me through my first year of poly life. thank you for all times you stood by me when i was feeling down, or sometimes being downright unreasonable to you.
you know not, but girl, i admire you from the depths of my heart.
i love you.
happy valentines day to everyone.
love;
took the past few days off blogging to chiong out most of the semester's final tests and projects, finally managed to complete them just this afternoon, within deadline. whew! definitely feels like a bitch of a load off my back. gratitude to kangsheng, kaixiang and jowell for the help that they rendered during the course of my work.
on another note, this special day, i'd like to dedicate this post to dearest thea, whose relentless support has led me through my first year of poly life. thank you for all times you stood by me when i was feeling down, or sometimes being downright unreasonable to you.
you know not, but girl, i admire you from the depths of my heart.
i love you.
happy valentines day to everyone.
love;
Friday, February 10, 2006
didnt have school today, (technically, no classes. i still had to go to ngee ann to do my movie analysis research)so with some free time, i set about signing up for a multiply account. you can check it out here!
still getting the hang of it though, just put up some photos from this new year's as a warm up. but do check back, more albums will soon appear as soon as i have the time.
anyway, its 2.00am now, and i'm crapped out tired. time to hit the sack!
love;
Thursday, February 09, 2006
the return
i have a feeling the quell in singapore's hot weather is coming to an end, as kaixiang, thea, and i went out today to do some location scouting for our photography project. i thought of the railway tracks nearby our campus grounds to be a nice location to try out, and so we did. i think i have this wierd liking for old places, perhaps because i think they have so much more, to them, like something mysterious you might accidentally uncover.
anyway, after a long (and hot) time of walking up and down the railroad tracks, (constantly looking behind us in anticipation of an oncoming train, which wasn't a very pleasant thought) we went to a nearby convinience store to cool down. the really cool thing about that particular store was that it looked really dated, like something from the 80s. even the fridge we took the drinks from was probably older than i was. suited the atmosphere of the railroad track quite a bit. haha. for any of you who want to check it out, its around rifle range road, somewhere near King Albert Park.
poly work has pretty taken over most of my life as it is right now, so a chance to hang out with my old kcp schoolmates is always welcomed, with them, i feel free to let loose and be myself again, just as life was like in secondary school.
today i went to a dear friend of mine's birthday, a handsome prick i've known since the ages of tight navy pants in the days of kcpss. not much has changed, he's still the same prick we all know and love, through all the times we shared as buddies, schoolmates, bandmates, and brothers.
happy birthday wong vern ah neng.
i have a feeling the quell in singapore's hot weather is coming to an end, as kaixiang, thea, and i went out today to do some location scouting for our photography project. i thought of the railway tracks nearby our campus grounds to be a nice location to try out, and so we did. i think i have this wierd liking for old places, perhaps because i think they have so much more, to them, like something mysterious you might accidentally uncover.
anyway, after a long (and hot) time of walking up and down the railroad tracks, (constantly looking behind us in anticipation of an oncoming train, which wasn't a very pleasant thought) we went to a nearby convinience store to cool down. the really cool thing about that particular store was that it looked really dated, like something from the 80s. even the fridge we took the drinks from was probably older than i was. suited the atmosphere of the railroad track quite a bit. haha. for any of you who want to check it out, its around rifle range road, somewhere near King Albert Park.
poly work has pretty taken over most of my life as it is right now, so a chance to hang out with my old kcp schoolmates is always welcomed, with them, i feel free to let loose and be myself again, just as life was like in secondary school.
today i went to a dear friend of mine's birthday, a handsome prick i've known since the ages of tight navy pants in the days of kcpss. not much has changed, he's still the same prick we all know and love, through all the times we shared as buddies, schoolmates, bandmates, and brothers.
happy birthday wong vern ah neng.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
hello again
apologies for my long hiatus, what a whirlwind of events the past six months has been!
so much has changed, everyone has split up into different polytechnics, JCs, (and in edwin's case, a different country), staying in contact is getting so much harder. especially now as the Poly students commence studies, and the JCs start piling the pressure on their students. and i fear the time will come, when saying hello gets that that little bit harder, when people change, when time forgets.
on another note, i'm now in Ngee Ann Poly's Film, Sound and Video. shitload of assignments already piling in, of filming and recording projects. but its really quite interesting, with modules like Location Production and Audio Technology. quite often we have to come early or stay back late to complete filming projects, and this is bound to get worse when recording/editing is introduced.
anyway.
my digital camera got stolen while i was working for Apple during the PCfair @ Expo over the weekend. so will the person who accidentally opened the staff cupboard at the PCfair 2005 at about 4pm on Sunday, mistakenly opened my bag and unintentionally removed a Canon Powershot A80 digital camera, please contact me at 90045642 for a coffee appointment, over which we could exchange some pleasantries.
apologies for my long hiatus, what a whirlwind of events the past six months has been!
so much has changed, everyone has split up into different polytechnics, JCs, (and in edwin's case, a different country), staying in contact is getting so much harder. especially now as the Poly students commence studies, and the JCs start piling the pressure on their students. and i fear the time will come, when saying hello gets that that little bit harder, when people change, when time forgets.
on another note, i'm now in Ngee Ann Poly's Film, Sound and Video. shitload of assignments already piling in, of filming and recording projects. but its really quite interesting, with modules like Location Production and Audio Technology. quite often we have to come early or stay back late to complete filming projects, and this is bound to get worse when recording/editing is introduced.
anyway.
my digital camera got stolen while i was working for Apple during the PCfair @ Expo over the weekend. so will the person who accidentally opened the staff cupboard at the PCfair 2005 at about 4pm on Sunday, mistakenly opened my bag and unintentionally removed a Canon Powershot A80 digital camera, please contact me at 90045642 for a coffee appointment, over which we could exchange some pleasantries.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
24 Feb 2005
Notification of Release of 2004 GCE O-Level Examination Results/ 2005 Joint Admissions Exercise
1 The results of the 2004 Singapore-Cambridge General Certificate of Education Ordinary Level Examination will be released on Monday, 28 February 2005.
2 School candidates may collect their results from their schools at 2.00pm on 28 February 2005. Private candidates will be informed of their results by post. Private candidates may access their results through the Internet after 2.00pm on 28 February 2005, at the following website:
http://www.seab.gov.sg/e-Services/e-Services.htm
dohhhh/.
Notification of Release of 2004 GCE O-Level Examination Results/ 2005 Joint Admissions Exercise
1 The results of the 2004 Singapore-Cambridge General Certificate of Education Ordinary Level Examination will be released on Monday, 28 February 2005.
2 School candidates may collect their results from their schools at 2.00pm on 28 February 2005. Private candidates will be informed of their results by post. Private candidates may access their results through the Internet after 2.00pm on 28 February 2005, at the following website:
http://www.seab.gov.sg/e-Services/e-Services.htm
dohhhh/.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
taopok to you too
I AM a parent of a boy studying in a premier junior college in the Bishan-Ang Mo Kio area. Recently, it has come to my attention that rowdy behaviour is threatening to compromise the safety of the students.
According to my son, the violent act is dubbed 'taupok', a reference to a highly compressible piece of brown beancurd. A student would shout 'taupok' and other students would pounce on the targeted person, drag him down forcefully and climb on top of him. Due to peer pressure, more and more students would join in until the stack of bodies is about a metre high.
This violent act is supposedly done in the name of fun but, as a parent, I feel that it is potentially dangerous and even life-threatening.
Furthermore, the 'taupoking' is not a rare occurrence. It can happen up to five times a day, anywhere and to any person.
During the orientation programme for Year One students, even a person standing on the stage during a performance could get 'taupoked'.
Supposing that an average person weighs 60kg, a typical group of 15 would weigh almost a tonne. Just as a person cannot survive without air for three minutes, I am very sure that the human backbone cannot bear the sheer weight of a thousand kilograms.
What happens if the victim's spine breaks? Or if he sustains any other injuries? Who will bear the consequences?
Fortunately, my son has not been a victim of 'taupoking' yet, but he still feels rather uncomfortable about this dangerous act. Also, he feels obliged to join in due to peer pressure, as everyone else is doing it.
Some would say that 'taupoking' is perfectly safe if one assumes the correct position, with one's elbows and forearms touching the floor so as to support the weight, like in rugby. However, not everyone knows the correct position to take, and when surprised one might also forget to assume that position.
I write this letter in the sincere hope of preventing a tragedy. Hopefully, we can keep 'taupok' where it belongs - in that delicious bowl of noodles.
Justin Situ Ren Jun
first, does anyone else find the (quite definitely) unintended pun "peer pressure" inordinately hilarious?
secondly, does anyone else's intelligence feel insulted by his overwrought description of a taupok as "a highly compressible piece of brown beancurd"? GIVE ME A BREAK.
lastly, but most importantly, guess whose son's gonna get taupoked mercilessly for his father's bungling indiscretion?
I AM a parent of a boy studying in a premier junior college in the Bishan-Ang Mo Kio area. Recently, it has come to my attention that rowdy behaviour is threatening to compromise the safety of the students.
According to my son, the violent act is dubbed 'taupok', a reference to a highly compressible piece of brown beancurd. A student would shout 'taupok' and other students would pounce on the targeted person, drag him down forcefully and climb on top of him. Due to peer pressure, more and more students would join in until the stack of bodies is about a metre high.
This violent act is supposedly done in the name of fun but, as a parent, I feel that it is potentially dangerous and even life-threatening.
Furthermore, the 'taupoking' is not a rare occurrence. It can happen up to five times a day, anywhere and to any person.
During the orientation programme for Year One students, even a person standing on the stage during a performance could get 'taupoked'.
Supposing that an average person weighs 60kg, a typical group of 15 would weigh almost a tonne. Just as a person cannot survive without air for three minutes, I am very sure that the human backbone cannot bear the sheer weight of a thousand kilograms.
What happens if the victim's spine breaks? Or if he sustains any other injuries? Who will bear the consequences?
Fortunately, my son has not been a victim of 'taupoking' yet, but he still feels rather uncomfortable about this dangerous act. Also, he feels obliged to join in due to peer pressure, as everyone else is doing it.
Some would say that 'taupoking' is perfectly safe if one assumes the correct position, with one's elbows and forearms touching the floor so as to support the weight, like in rugby. However, not everyone knows the correct position to take, and when surprised one might also forget to assume that position.
I write this letter in the sincere hope of preventing a tragedy. Hopefully, we can keep 'taupok' where it belongs - in that delicious bowl of noodles.
Justin Situ Ren Jun
first, does anyone else find the (quite definitely) unintended pun "peer pressure" inordinately hilarious?
secondly, does anyone else's intelligence feel insulted by his overwrought description of a taupok as "a highly compressible piece of brown beancurd"? GIVE ME A BREAK.
lastly, but most importantly, guess whose son's gonna get taupoked mercilessly for his father's bungling indiscretion?
Sunday, November 28, 2004
no such thing - john mayer.
"Welcome to the real world", she said to me, condescendingly.
Take a seat, take your life,
Plot it out in black and white.
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
and the drama queens,
I'd like to think the best of me,
Is still hiding up my sleeve.
They love to tell you, "Stay inside the lines."
But something's better, on the other side.
I wanna run through the halls of my high school,
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world,
just a lie you've got to rise above.
So the good boys and girls take the so-called right track,
faded white hats grabbing credits and, maybe transfers.
They read all the books but they can't find the answers.
And all of our parents, they're getting older,
I wonder if they've wished for anything better?
While in their memories, tiny tragedies.
They love to tell you, "Stay inside the lines."
But something's better, on the other side.
I wanna run through the halls of my high school,
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world,
just a lie you've got to rise above.
I am invincible
I am invincible
I am invincible
as long as I'm alivee.
I wanna run through the halls of my high school,
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world,
just a lie you've got to rise above.
I just can't wait till my ten year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors.
And when I stand on these tables before you,
you will know what all this time was for.
"Welcome to the real world", she said to me, condescendingly.
Take a seat, take your life,
Plot it out in black and white.
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
and the drama queens,
I'd like to think the best of me,
Is still hiding up my sleeve.
They love to tell you, "Stay inside the lines."
But something's better, on the other side.
I wanna run through the halls of my high school,
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world,
just a lie you've got to rise above.
So the good boys and girls take the so-called right track,
faded white hats grabbing credits and, maybe transfers.
They read all the books but they can't find the answers.
And all of our parents, they're getting older,
I wonder if they've wished for anything better?
While in their memories, tiny tragedies.
They love to tell you, "Stay inside the lines."
But something's better, on the other side.
I wanna run through the halls of my high school,
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world,
just a lie you've got to rise above.
I am invincible
I am invincible
I am invincible
as long as I'm alivee.
I wanna run through the halls of my high school,
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world,
just a lie you've got to rise above.
I just can't wait till my ten year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors.
And when I stand on these tables before you,
you will know what all this time was for.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
of endings
standing at the end of something, the needful and rightful thing to do is to look up and above, look to the future. but the years of wrangling with my past have trained my eyes and locked them permanently on what i have left behind, things i have lost, gained and lost again, things that could have been, things that were then they weren't again.
but did i ever really have a choice? maybe in another time, in another place, things would be so much different.
to look life in the face, always, to look life in the face, and to know it for what it is. at last to know it- to love it, for what it is, and then, to put it away.. always the years between us, always the years, always the love, always- the hours..\
standing at the end of something, the needful and rightful thing to do is to look up and above, look to the future. but the years of wrangling with my past have trained my eyes and locked them permanently on what i have left behind, things i have lost, gained and lost again, things that could have been, things that were then they weren't again.
but did i ever really have a choice? maybe in another time, in another place, things would be so much different.
to look life in the face, always, to look life in the face, and to know it for what it is. at last to know it- to love it, for what it is, and then, to put it away.. always the years between us, always the years, always the love, always- the hours..\
Thursday, August 19, 2004
IF
if life is a box of chocolates then i say love is a wishing well. you never know what you're gonna lose. it starts when you throw something in; what have you got to lose anyway? soon after, you find yourself expending everything and anything in the hope that something will finally validate everything else you have invested in what began as a whim, and it takes every shred of sanity left in your head not to hurl yourself down as well.
i am not angry. i have been your kind, i have made your choice in my time and i am sure in your position i would have done the same. to have a heart broken is a terrible thing and in the healing process the safest arms we can find are not of those whom we love passionately, for passion bruises a tender heart. but those we care just enough to rest with. from this, some people never get up, and i hope they are happy.
i had an explanation ready. but then i realised; i'm done explaining, i'm done dealing, living, surviving. if the world wants me, it can come and get me. there isn't anything in this world i can do that will make a smidgen of difference to anyone, and even if i'm wrong about this, being right takes too much damned effort.
who, and what, could i possibly be next? i can hardly wait.
if life is a box of chocolates then i say love is a wishing well. you never know what you're gonna lose. it starts when you throw something in; what have you got to lose anyway? soon after, you find yourself expending everything and anything in the hope that something will finally validate everything else you have invested in what began as a whim, and it takes every shred of sanity left in your head not to hurl yourself down as well.
i am not angry. i have been your kind, i have made your choice in my time and i am sure in your position i would have done the same. to have a heart broken is a terrible thing and in the healing process the safest arms we can find are not of those whom we love passionately, for passion bruises a tender heart. but those we care just enough to rest with. from this, some people never get up, and i hope they are happy.
i had an explanation ready. but then i realised; i'm done explaining, i'm done dealing, living, surviving. if the world wants me, it can come and get me. there isn't anything in this world i can do that will make a smidgen of difference to anyone, and even if i'm wrong about this, being right takes too much damned effort.
who, and what, could i possibly be next? i can hardly wait.
Monday, April 26, 2004
NOTHING
i'm sorry if i haven't been good conversation, i just can't be who you want me to be. i'm sorry i haven't been returning calls and answering messages, i don't know what to say. i'm sorry i haven't checked on you in so long, i've forgotten how to start. i'm sorry i don't call anymore, its just feels like my number's up. happy birthday, i'm sorry i remembered. i'm sorry i look like that, it'll stay this way for a while. i'm sorry i can't share your happiness, it'd look weird on me anyhow. i'm sorry i can't tell you why, because i don't know either. i'm sorry everything's going well, otherwise i'd know what to do. i'm sorry i'm not the way you're used to, sometimes i forget i don't have to act since no one's watching. i'm sorry, sorry in the way that has nothing to do with apology.
i'm sorry if i haven't been good conversation, i just can't be who you want me to be. i'm sorry i haven't been returning calls and answering messages, i don't know what to say. i'm sorry i haven't checked on you in so long, i've forgotten how to start. i'm sorry i don't call anymore, its just feels like my number's up. happy birthday, i'm sorry i remembered. i'm sorry i look like that, it'll stay this way for a while. i'm sorry i can't share your happiness, it'd look weird on me anyhow. i'm sorry i can't tell you why, because i don't know either. i'm sorry everything's going well, otherwise i'd know what to do. i'm sorry i'm not the way you're used to, sometimes i forget i don't have to act since no one's watching. i'm sorry, sorry in the way that has nothing to do with apology.
